i just found out i failed in my exam.. 10 weeks all went to waste.. maybe this isn't the career for me.. i wasted 10 freakin weeks, it was so hard.. i didn't even recognize half of the questions the exam called for.. i lacked knowledge of the content.. i feel bad.. i should have researched more, i should have expected it would be very difficult.. i didn't really put enough effort to nail it..i only have myself to blame.. what irks me most is the fact that i didn't know what was coming..i wasn't prepared enough.. i knew little of the world of echo.. it's humbling and humiliating.. it was as a shock to know the results were in and only 22 passed out of i dunno, around sixty or seventy..hence the sad face.. yesterday i was upset that i missed the second day when i could have attended both days of the convention.. i was the one my boss recommended to attend both days.. but no my co-worker had to steal my thunder and attend both days herself and let me go on duty just because i am responsible as oic and it's actually my ass on the line.. and i really don't know what's wrong with her, she's so careless and tactless at times it's no longer appropriate..even to patients she's not courteous enough showing she just doesn't care.. she works everyday as if it's a chore.. doesn't really empathize with clients.. last time she wanted to go home on time and wasn't understanding enough to accommodate a late patient.. hence her ir..not that she didn't deserve it.. but hr is so lax sometimes.. last time i had a 3-day suspension i wasn't allowed to serve my suspension following an off..now suddenly my co-worker is allowed to pick whatever day she wants.. really unfair.. and maybe all this is just draining me that i feel so un-enthusiastic..i feel tired of this..

i cannot believe you.. after all that has transpired, you're the one who has left me hanging..what was that all about? i haven't even burst my happiness bubble yet..and already you're leaving? and what's so frustrating about all this is how i intended to leave while i was ahead, not the other way around.. and maybe i was wrong to expect you to stick around and stay with me..waste time..spend it on me..i know there's no 'we' so i'd stick with you and me.. it's just not fair..i know it's cliche, for the fact is 'life is not fair' is a reality..it seemed as if the wind just knocked me over, without warning without even telling me to throw caution.. i hate it.. i hate how you do this to me..again! ~seed - rapture~